The story behind my first album

Hello dear blog readers :-)

This is a post that I have wanted to do for a long time so now here it comes! As most of you know (or will learn when visiting this website, my instagram channel or one of my concerts) I have released an album with my very own solo piano compositions last year. This was a great opportunity for me and is something I am still very proud of. I did not exactly plan to work towards an entire album when I was playing on my piano in my room all this time, but somehow things fell into place very nicely over the past years.

I have always been drawn towards the piano since I was a teenager and wanted to learn how to play. But at that time I already took flute and singing lessons and taking piano lessons on top of that would have been a bit much and also too expensive. I couldn’t get myself to stop either playing the flute or singing (my favourite hobby at that time!) so I decided to buy an electric piano (a rather cheap one) with money from Christmas and my birthday when I was 17 years old and started to experiment with it myself.

There were some songs I loved that I wanted to play - I was really into Yann Tiersen at that time - and I knew how to read the treble clef from playing the flute and singing but I was (and still am) super slow in reading the bass clef which prevents me from playing the song in a tempo that is somewhere near the original :-D So the easier way for me was just to memorize the songs that I wanted to play. I spent a couple of months doing that (plus my singing teacher who also played the piano gave me some beginner’s lessons as well) until I moved out of my parents’ home half a year later.

I started studying medicine in Göttingen and took my electric piano with me. In the following years I gave up memorizing songs but started to invent my own little melodies on the piano instead. There were months when I didn’t play a lot and then there were months when I played several hours a day because I felt so happy playing that I couldn’t stop.

During those years my piano became a really good way to get a break from long studying hours and it also allowed me to still be creative which wasn’t part of my studies at all. At some point I even bought a real piano, over 100 years old, still kind of in tune and definitely good enough for me. I recorded a lot of little ideas and snippets on my phone during my study time, most of them stayed little and I managed to finish 3 or 4 songs.

Then my studies were over and I started a new life in Berlin. There was a time during COVID when I was unemployed as a doctor and looking for a cultural project I could be part of (in times when the access to cultural events was very limited). I found a group of lovely people in Munich around the musician and composer Axel Kroell with whom I organized an online benefit festival on a voluntary basis (mostly classical concerts but also other genres in different places around Munich that could be streamed online). I really enjoyed doing this for a few weeks and we managed to have a lot of beautiful concerts during Christmas time and were able to donate money for a good cause.

At the end of the festival Axel called me and offered me a day in his studio as a gift for my help. Hearing this I was absolutely excited and I am very thankful for this opportunity until today. A few months later I bought myself a new piano ( I had left my old one in Göttingen) and started playing again since I had missed the piano a lot. I also took some composition classes to finish some of the ideas I had. Luckily there was no rush on doing the studio day so I really took my time..

Three years (!!! :-D) later I had improved my piano and composition skills and finished 11 songs that I brought to the studio on that day. When I played the first notes on the grand piano and heard it’s soothing sound I immediately felt calm and I knew this was gonna be a successful recording session. I worked with Julian Collet as producer/recording engineer which was super easy, effective and all in all a great experience. We were very concentrated (not that easy when I didn’t have much sleep the night before because I felt so excited), it felt like we had a similar view on how to work through the songs and we managed to record all the pieces I brought. In the early evening I left with a heart full of joy, the next day Julian had mastered all my songs. Hearing my own music in beautiful quality is such a special feeling. I’m already looking forward to my next studio experience with new material wherever that may be!

photoshoot and cross-sectoral work

Hello there, you may have noticed that my homepage has become a more professional look lately since I changed some of the pictures. :-)
For a longer period of time I wanted really good looking photos for this website (additional to the ones I already had) but also for instagram or other occasions when I announce upcoming concerts. I started asking around a bit for a good photographer and also did a little Google search but I still had no one specific in my mind.

Then my neighbour James O’Callaghan who is a composer and sound artist released his EP and threw a release party/concert (the closest. concert I have ever been to - just had to go downstairs :-D) We talked a little and I asked him for a good photographer. Luckily the photographer who had taken his photos was invited as well and that’s how I got in touch with Sanyam. I took a look at his work and decided quickly that I like what he does very much so we met shortly after to do a session.

Usually I’m not much of a photo person, I often feel a bit uncomfortable in front of a camera especially when I have to pose in a certain way. But on that evening everything fell into place very nicely. We got beautiful sunny evening hours and I felt like it was very easy to talk to Sanyam which then made me feel very comfortable in general and also in front of the camera. We spent quite some time in my neighbourhood trying different places and outfits and in the end we got so many beautiful photos that it was hard to choose the best ones for further editing. You can see a selection in my gallery and in other places on this website.

We also connected over being people with multiple interests/skills across different sectors that are very similar: I work in the field of environmental medicine and am confronted with a lot of climate change-and-health-related topics while also being a musician whereas Sanyam’s passionate about connecting hist art with politics and research especially to raise awareness for climate change and promote societal change (definitely go check out his homepage about this). I think this could open up great opportunities and who knows, this might not be the end of us collaborating yet ;-) But whatever happens, I’ll announce it here and on my instagram channel - so stay tuned!

If you’re interested in Sanyam’s work as a photographer in general (he did not ask me to do this :-) ) have a look here or go to his instagram channel.

German Popsongs?

Dear blog-readers, some time has passed since my last post but I have not been lazy ;-) In the past few weeks (maybe months) I have experimented with writiting more lyrics (+ song accompaniment) and I surprised myself with what came out of it in the end.

I started writing English song lyrics some time ago because I wanted to be understood by everyone (including my international musician friends) and because most of the music that I listen to is in English. I wrote 2 or 3 tunes (including “Sleepless Night” which you can find here in the blog as well) and although I would say that my English is alright I was really scared of making grammatical mistakes as I am not a native speaker (actually the same goes for this blog which is why I try to double check everything that I write with different language tools haha.. But I think some mistakes in a blog are okay). Also I found out that it is harder saying things in a really precise way. I am very happy with Sleepless Night but the other two didn’t feel as much like me.

So then I decided to give German lyrics a chance and it worked surprisingly well. I felt really inspired and wrote 3 songs in a short period of time. Before, I was afraid that it would be really hard to find a good balance in being intimate but not cheesy at the same time when writing German song lyrics. But it turned out to feel ok and having new songs (next to some new piano tunes) added to my repertoire makes me very excited for the next gigs I will play.

For a long time I wanted to add my voice to my songs (which I have partially done already by adding some mmmhhhs and aaaaahhhs but I don’t want to do this for the whole set :-D) because I love singing, I think I’m doing it well and a voice catches people in a different way than any other instrument. It makes telling a story on stage (during and in between songs) much easier and also opens the door to new performance venues. In the past I felt most comfortable playing on a real upright piano instead of an electric piano because when I play strictly instrumental songs, an upright piano transports the atmosphere I wanna create best. With lyrics I feel that an electric piano is a solid choice (although I’m still a huge fan of upright pianos for every occasion :-D)

Anyway. Apparently now I am an artist who composes instrumental pieces but also German popsongs and that is a whole new but very fun identity that I have to get used to :-) If you wanna hear me sing in German you can just come to my next concerts which will be in September and November so far (go to “shows”). Of course I’ll keep on writing more and more lyrics so there will be a whole family of new songs that I can sing. I think they also go well with my solo piano pieces because I still like the same things - beautiful melodies and harmonies and capturing the audience with an intimate atmosphere. So be prepared to hear both from me in the future. :-)

That’s it from me today. Enjoy your day!

music comes and goes in waves

It’s been quite a while since I posted my last little article here - and I think today is a good day to change that. ;-)

Right now I’m sitting here on my balcony with a cup of decaffeinated latte in my hand enjoying one of the first days that actually feel like summer to me this year. Also it's one of those Sunday afternoons between the hustle and bustle of last week and the week ahead, when all the tasks have already been completed and there's time to relax. To me it’s a great time to sit down and write some words.

If you take a closer look at the shows that I played (in the band or alone) you will notice that I have taken a little break since the beginning of the year. First of all, I didn’t feel like booking more concerts and wanted to do some creative work instead. Then there have been some changes in our band and I think we’re still figuring out how to continue. I also took on a sporting challenge (a triathlon that I couldn’t take part in in the end because I got sick.. but training was still fun! I might do one later this year instead I think). And - the biggest reason of all - I have been struggling with some private topics in my life during the past months that took a lot of my attention and energy.

The good news is that things have cleared up a bit and although I have still played the piano in my room often I’m starting to miss making music with others and performing. As you probably know, music is a big part of my identity and when it is not in my life as much I feel like I’m missing a part of myself.

So I’m glad to announce that I will be playing another solo piano concert in June for the Fête de la Musique in Berlin at Kapernaum Kirche in Wedding. I’m excited for their grand piano and looking forward to play so much. Please feel invited to come, listen and talk to me after the concert, I will annouce more details (for example the time ;-) ) here and on my Instagram channel when I know more. I’ll also play at least two new songs ;-)

Until then I hope for a lot more of those nice summer moments like this one for you all <3

2024 in review

I know that I’m a bit late to the party but I just did a review on my year 2024 (which honestly felt amazing, I feel a lot more grounded now). For me a lot of things came together in 2024 and I’d like to share some of my thoughts on that.

The obvious and biggest change that happened for me musically was the release of my debut piano album in august. For years I had worked on my own tunes and ideas, and to bring them out into the world for everyone to listen to truly feels great.

My bass teacher once said: learning how to make music is a marathon. I often think about that phrase. For me it means that a lot the times when I make music I don’t see the progress right away - or I think I’m just getting better really slowly. (Of course this also has something to do with fact that I still spend a lot of hours per week in my day job and that I also want to have time for friends, sports and social activities).

When I think about my progress it sometimes helps to look back and listen to old voice memos (I often record musical ideas that I have on my phone so I won’t forget them while working on them). Especially when they are a few years old I can hear that my ideas are getting more interesting now and that my chords become more complex. Sometimes I also come accross a melody that I still like or I’m confronted with what I still can’t do yet, like adding a beat or create certain sounds.

I think that even if we don’t see that we are improving, a lot of the times we still do as long as we stay committed to an activity and also add new elements to our routines. Sometimes progress is just not always visible to ourselves and others.

So when I finally recorded my songs in January not only did I learn a bunch of stuff about the music industry (i.e. how do I put my music online, who has which rights, how does GEMA work etc.), in the following months I also began to shape my work and my musical identity more (by asking myself which stage name I want to use, if I want to name my songs in English, what kind of texts I write about myself and which of the work I can do without help, for example my album cover art work).

Those alone are really big steps but one of the most beautiful things for me to see was that a lot of my musical work of the previous years (basically most of my twenties) became audible in this project. The skills and ideas were already there but they were kind of hidden behind unfinished and unreleased compositions. Playing my own music in concerts and showing my work to people is something very personal, intimate and beautiful I think.

I didn’t release my album for the fame or the money (although it would be great to have some of course ;-) ) but I see it as something coming from my soul that is there to bring moments of joy and peace into the world and makes my audience be completely caught in the moment. Sometimes people tell me how much they enjoyed listening to my songs and that makes me really happy. It is something that wouldn’t have been possible without the release of the album and the concerts I started playing shortly before.

Being immensely grateful for this opportunity (I will tell the story of how I got record my songs another time, it is a good one) I am curious about what 2025 will bring to the table. I am a big believer of the fact that (if we’re not financially dependent on it) we don’t have to set goals all the time, that it is okay not to always improve and that we can also allow ourselves to float and see where life takes us. That being said (and knowing that I find it also hard to follow my own beliefs sometimes) I still have visions for my music for this year and achieving them would satisfy me very much. Before my inner eye I maybe see a vocal project, some experimenting with Logic, more lyrics or a combination of the piano with other instruments. Also I want to improve my technical skills on my instruments (there is always room for more, right? ;-) ). I know that this a a lot for one year so I will just keep being patient, do my thing and enjoy the hell out of it all.

Sleepless Night

Since apparently I am in a writing mood lately - which is also very fun - I wanted to share the first songtext that I ever wrote. I did it a few weeks ago and also posted a rough version with some chord ideas on Instagram but I might still change them. Also I don’t know yet what this song becomes, if it is gonna be just piano and voice, if I’ll make something bigger out of it or maybe even nothing at all. I still like the words and the story that it tells.

I wake up at night a lot. Most of the times I fall back to sleep but sometimes when there is stuff in my life that I haven’t fully processed yet I start thinking about it up to the moment when it feels pointless to still try to fall asleep again. Usually I give up then, leave my cozy bed, grab my diary and go to the kitchen where I start to write, many times with a late night snack. I often write for about an hour or more - that is when I realise how much is actually going on.

In the song I wanted to capture this feeling of being awake at night left with the demons of the day(s) before. When I wrote the text it somehow took on a life of its own and got spookier than I intended. Also the unhappy love story didn’t exactly happen to me like this - but I am sure it happened to someone else at a different time.

By the way, after finishing my nightly diary sessions I often feel a lot clearer and falling asleep usually is no problem anymore ;-) So here’s the text:

Sleepless Night

I wake up in the middle of the night.
My body’s turning from side to side.
Something’s cracking near the door.
Shadows creeping on the floor.

Oh sleepless night
ghosts of yesterday
haunt me now
in the grey.
Let there be some light
I wanna feel alright.

I’m in my house alone.
I’m starting to feel scared to my bones.
If only you were here close to me
we could chase those shadows easily.

Oh sleepless night
you’re a shameless thief.
You only take
but you don’t give.
I wanna be alright
I wanna feel alright.

Uuuuuuh :-)

You packed your bag and left me here.
Watching you leave I shed no tear.
But deep down I already knew
I’m gonna miss every piece of you.

Oh sleepless night
bring my love
back to me
so we can live long and free.
I wanna feel alright
I wanna be alright.
Will you return to my side?
I wanna be alright.

Singing Workshop

Singing used to be my favorite hobby when I was a teenager and it played a huge role in my life up to my mid-twenties. I was a member in several choirs and took (mostly classical) singing classes throughout those years. When I turned 25 I joined my first band as a piano player (sometimes I did some background vocals too) and I realized that I wanted to make more “modern” music (mostly pop) instead of classical music. In the following years I started to learn how to play the double bass and then the electric bass. I also became a member of different bands and found my first musical opportunities as a bass player.

As I began to play more bass and was still developing my solo piano project at the same time, singing became less important in my life because a day only has 24 hours :-) But I still kept my love for being able to fill a room with my own voice or the joyful feeling of singing harmonies with others in my head and my heart.

In my environment there are many opportunities to share things with other people for which I am very grateful. There are different circles of friends who organise festivals or smaller gatherings and often it is very appreciated if people contribute in one way or another to the event. For example, I have made music with different people as part of a musical program over the years (as well as taking cooking or cleaning shifts, doing artist care etc).

While being part of all these wonderful events the idea of doing a singing workshop with a group of people grew in my head (at one festival there bad been a duo of musicians doing a singing workshop already but it was before my time with these people so I couldn’t attend). When the opportunity arose to contribute to a small and private indoor festival that took place this fall I thought I might jump in at the deep end. Where else could I try being a workshop instructor if not at one of these little events?

So I signed up for leading this workshop and did some preparation. I definitely feel like I have enough to say and some knowledge to share through the years of my own singing experience. But I still felt a little insecure because it was my first singing workshop after all, I was afraid that too little people would show up and I didn’t know what would be the level of the singers participiating.

But in the end it all turned out fine. Quite a few people were coming to sing and we shared some good moments full of laughter in my body warm-up. When we got to the actual singing part even more people were joining as we were placed in one corner of the living room where everyone could see and hear us. We were even able to sing some parts of the songs in two voices. One of the things I learned is that it doesn’t matter so much which songs I bring (something I had worried about before) and that most of the people just enjoyed singing melodies and harmonies with the group. And we really sounded quite good I think :-) After the workshop was over some people told me that we also created a beautiful atmosphere for those not participating (some of the people in the room were doing a kitchen shift or another quiet activity). For me, that was a great thing to hear. So if the next opportunity comes up to sing with a group of people and/or lead a singing workshop I would definitely be down for it again.

A good place to share some thoughts?

Hello everyone! As I’m experiencing a lot of things (I’m sure we all do) and in my case especially in the music world I wanted to share some things with you. I will fill up this space in the following weeks hoping to entertain, inform and maybe even inspire you a little bit. Stay tuned!